Are You Stuck? Part Four: RECONNECT

Grand Canyon National Park, CC BY 2.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0>, via Wikimedia Commons

Welcome back to part four in this series on being “stuck” and the journey to getting “unstuck.” To recap, during part one of the series, we took 30 days to practice taking just 5 minutes each morning to REST, to check in with ourselves, to breathe deeply, and to take a thought inventory to better understand what we are carrying around with us that has us stuck. In part two, we talked about the second step in getting unstuck, and that was to RUN (towards what scares us), as fears are often at the root of “stuckness.” Part three took us to the topic of RELEASE. We worked on releasing thought patterns, the need to control outcomes, and mental contracts that no longer serve us. If you have been on this journey with us, you have probably already discovered so much about yourself, your mindsets, and your burdens, that you are hopefully now intrigued by the process, hopeful for change, and ready to go further. If you are new to the series, then welcome, and it is not too late to join in from here!

I want to talk to you in this edition about the concept of RECONNECTING. Imagine the concept of building a bridge over the Grand Canyon. In life, we stand at the edge of many canyons, able to SEE across but completely helpless to GET across to the other side. The Grand Canyon was created by many factors, one of which is the force of the water that occurred from the waters of the Colorado River. The life-giving force of water can also take life, as we saw in the wake of Hurricane Helene. It can also create new geological formations such as a canyon. The storms of life can create canyons in our lives much the same. For example, the storm of the loss of a child can create a canyon of grief between a husband and wife who are grieving the loss so differently that they find themselves struggling to find a way across the canyon of disconnection and hurt brought about by their differences. Others carry dreams in their hearts for where they believe they want to go in life with a career; yet, the canyon of “how” requires a bridge to get to the other side. Some may have experienced storms in their health due to a bout with cancer or other illnesses that have changed their fitness level and weight, and now they cannot even see how they will ever reconnect with the healthier, fitter version of who they used to be. Bridges…we need bridges to get across these canyons, to RECONNECT with dreams, connections with one another and with self, with better health, with goals, and so many other things that seem so out of reach. Those canyons appear to keep us STUCK.

One of the key elements of building bridges is the interplay of multiple disciplines in order to complete the project. For instance, even within the field of engineering, often times multiple types of engineers are employed to help in the construction of a safe and sturdy bridge. For example, structural engineers are responsible for assessing load-bearing capacity and all of the stresses the bridge will incur over time such as wind. Geotechnical engineers will be responsible for assessing soil types and thereby what types of piers and anchors are needed. Environmental engineers assess the impact of the new structure on the world around it, to predict how this new bridge will change the world of the vegetation and wildlife living around it. Hydraulic engineers will be consulted to assess the impact of water nearby or potential future erosion. If you lived here in middle Georgia in 1994, you certainly remember the bridges washing out and collapsing. Although the bridges were secure on a normal day, they could not withstand the extremes of enormous amounts of rain from Tropical Storm Alberto. Not everything can be predicted or prevented, but a good plan always includes a multidisciplinary team. No one person has all the answers, and no one discipline exists in a vacuum.

The step of RECONNECTING is a step of community. If you are trying to build a relational bridge and you don’t know how to do it, who can you talk to that may be able to put some good tools of wisdom in your hands? Maybe that person is a person who has a pretty good relational track record, someone you can trust to be a sounding board. Or, perhaps your pastor is a good resource. Perhaps, a counselor who is passionate about relational repair can be helpful. If your canyon is the canyon of building that business, maybe you can consult with someone you know who has made their way in the realm of entrepeneurship. If you don’t know anyone like that, think about your favorite local business, and offer to take the owner to lunch in exchange for gleaning some of their wisdom or perhaps offer to apprentice under them for free in exchange for a behind the scenes look at how they run their business. Or, you can always find consulting services online. If you are staring at the canyon of fitness or wellness, there are many personal trainers, health coaches, and wellness consultants, as well as physicians that may be able to help. If you have tried that and it didn’t work, try again. Hire someone new. Don’t give up. Your answers are out there, and your bridge can be built with the right team.

There are many, many ways to build a bridge over a canyon, but every manner of building will include a team. Reconnecting yourself to the other side of that canyon includes reconnecting yourself with others. It includes embracing the humility and the vulnerability of admitting you have a dream or a desire and you need help turning it into a reality. As we learn to open up to others, to work together, and to learn from one another, we also bless others. The mentors we seek wisdom from are blessed to impart out of their own struggle the shortcuts and hard-earned pro tips that we very much need to possess. One person’s need can be another person’s blessing. If you are standing at the edge of a canyon and you feel stuck, consider how you can begin to RECONNECT with the dreams and goals, to RECONNECT with others to build that bridge across the canyon, and know that it will be a process. No bridge was built in a day. Embrace your process, reach out, and enjoy watching your bridge take shape in community!

(Originally published in the January 2025 edition of Monroe Matters, a local newspaper publication in Forsyth, Georgia)

Lisa Elliott Schumacher, LPC

Life By Design Counseling

Lisa is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), a Monroe County resident, and a mental health practitioner who is passionate about helping others find their purpose, live fully, and to live holistically healthy lives, body, soul, and spirit. She believes life is meant to be lived by design, not by chance, and she aspires to help others live by design, wholly, fully, and vibrant. The sharing of these thoughts is in no way therapy or a substitute for therapy. If you are in crisis right now...Call or Text 988 or visit 988lifeline.org. If you are having a medical emergency, a safety emergency requiring law enforcement, EMS, or experiencing a fire emergency:   DIAL 911.